A Note to FELLOW CAREGIVERS
The purpose of the website is to let you know that you are not alone. When the doctor says that your loved one has Alzheimer’s/dementia it is a life-altering diagnosis and yet you’re sent out in the world with a page of resources (if you’re lucky) and an appointment for a check-up in 3 months. Your loved one is increasingly going to forget things, may not be able to drive, may not remember how to boil water in a few months, and most definitely will not be able to live on their own as the months go by, so here’s some Aricept/Donepezil to maybe slow it down and we’ll see you in 3 months. I don’t believe the doctors intend to be callous and some are very warm and helpful, but their job is well defined, they make the diagnosis, and they provide some drugs and some help, but your job is indeterminate. What do you do now? Where do you begin? What can you do to help your loved one? How much can I do? How much will it affect the other members of my family and myself?
This blog is not meant to provide all the answers, but to provide some camaraderie. I have some resources, and articles about my own journey, I invite people to contact me and comment, because as the website gets going I would like you to see your fellow caretakers, and I also aim to provide cartoons and especially humorous anecdotes because I know a smile helps us get through the difficult periods. ("Humor is just another defense against the universe." –Mel Brooks "A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing." –Laura Ingalls Wilder.)
I also hope the website helps you appreciate each stage of your loved one as you go through the journey together. My husband, D.D. Jackson, often says, “this is life, it’s just life.” I try hard (and some days I have to try harder than other days) to appreciate the way my loved one is now, she’s with me and I am fortunate to have the resources to take care of her. I’m taking care of my mother, the way she took care of her father and wished she could have for her own mother who died when she was young.
Your loved one’s diagnosis may find some of you “sandwiched” between taking care of your elderly parents and caring for your children who also still need your time and attention. My own 15 year-old daughter felt very jealous of the time I spent with my mom / her grandmother when my mother lived with us. It was time I took away from her and her 17-year-old brother. I will post some of my journal entries from when my kids were younger dealing with their Grandmother while also posting what life is like currently.
I hope my experiences help you feel some sense of comfort.